Some UNIX system commands

Try these on any AFS or UNIX system:

% rm meese-ethics

rm: meese-ethics nonexistent

% ar m God

ar: God does not exist

% “How would you rate Reagan’s incompetence?

Unmatched “.

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?

Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ Reagan spent on the military, what would I have?

Too many (‘s.

% make love

Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me

bad character

% got a light?

No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?

man:: Too many arguments.

% ^What is saccharine?

Bad substitute.

% %blow

%blow: No such job.

% (-

(-: Command not found.

% sh

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense

no sense in pretending!

$ drink matter

matter: cannot create

% man sex

No manual entry for sex

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